Okay, so...I'm lazy.

Honestly, I feel super ultra terribly terrible about not updating in so long. There were holidays you see? Then holidays turned to buuuuuuhhhhhhhrrrrrrrgggggggg and suddenly you wake up and there's a new number at the end of the calendar and this is REALLY confusing for everyone. Especially me.

God, what even IS time?

Anyway. I'm updating NOW to let everyone know I'll be posting an update FOR REALZ soon. Like probably in a couple days. Exciting right? So I guess look out for that. It's going to have something to do with Civilization V or something.

Damn yes, Hiawatha.

EVE-Online - Still Pretty, Dangerous, Complicated

I've dabbled with CCP's hasn't-quite-been-underground-anymore-for-awhile-now EVE-Online from time to time over the past few years. At its best, it's a gorgeous looking piece of software with what amounts to the perfect soundtrack for what the game is going for, even when it's not.

Ahh. Space porn.

Isn't that nice to look at? Now imagine some Swedish guy falling asleep on a keyboard and you've got the perfect recipe for a low-stress ride through one of those peaceful lazy river things at those fake fancy hotels only in space. So it's like a space hotel lazy river you navigate with a mouse. So you're buzzing along, happily riding the mood-high of a...

...

God dammit. Someone turn that god damned music off. DO YOU SEE WHAT IT GOT ME? Last time I ever listen to your new age John Tesh knock-off bullshit while I'm trying to find a god damned wormhole to investigate and NO that wasn't a euphemism, alright?


*Sigh*


No big deal. Let's all just relax. I'll just...I'll just get a new ship. I'll just stroll back to a starbase and take a look in the market and see what we've got going on. Let me just open up my definitely-easy-to-navigate menu system and...

Oh FFS.

You know what? On second thought I'll just set some random skills to train and come back tomorrow.

Tecmo Super Bowl is the Greatest Thing Since Ever

I don't really need a ton of excuses to talk about Philly-centric sports, even at The InGame Asylum. Thanks to people with too much time on their hands and Tecmo Super Bowl, I have all the excuse I'll ever need. Or rather I would but here's a handy dandy video of the closing moment's of yesterday's game instead:



Awesome.

Digital Distribution is (not) Taking Over

The NPD group recently released their 2010 Games Purchase Drivers report and revealed that 29% of video game purchases over the last three months are delivered to the consumer via digital distribution. What this means, of course, is that 71% of video game purchases are still done incorrectly boxed copies from brick and mortar establishments.

Pictured: the right way to get games.

Let's stop delaying progress, people. Sure, there was a time back in cave man days where going to a special building to acquire <item> was like...what you did. Now machines are connected to other machines by lightning wizard magic the internet and we have things like sunglasses and toasters and stuff and you don't really need to bang a couple rocks together anymore for fire.

There's also this nauseating nugget of unjoy from the report:

"...nearly 10 percent of buyers report using a trade-in to fund their purchase."


Tear down the brick and mortar after the jump.

Be Decent AND a Nerdy Indie Hipster

For those of you who missed it the first go-round, the Humble Indie Bundle is back! If you have no idea what that is, or why you should care, it goes like this:


The bundle is made up of five pretty rad indie games: Braid, Cortex Command, Osmos, Machinarium, and Revenge of the Titans. Sold separately, you're looking at $85 worth of stuff here. With the Humble Indie Bundle, you get to name your price for the whole shebang. Yup, you can be a disgusting cheap skate and get all 5 games for just a penny if you really wanted to and could live with yourself afterward. Extra cool points for the fact that you can split up your payment so that it ends up in the hands of up to 4 different entities: the developers of the games themselves, the Humble Bundle folks, the excellent digital rights group EFF, or my personal favorite, Child's Play.


If that's too philanthropic for you, then just get the Bundle on the cheap because the games are good, you bastard.

Especially Braid.

OGINTWA (Oh God It's Not The Weekend Anymore)

Normally, you see those back from the weekend catching up posts thrown up places early Monday morning because I guess that's supposed to be a good time to do that. I know better. First, I know for a fact that I can't string a coherent thought together until roughly 11 AM and I definitely can't translate that into text until sometime significantly beyond noon. Also, I would expect a vast majority of my readers to be of the gamer persuasion and I know gaming is being embraced more and more by the mainstream but, come on, <insert no-longer wholly appropriate stereotype about gamers not waking up before the afternoon>.

Amirite?


More, post-jump.

A Faithful Re-Creation of Events that Happened

(I apologize ahead of time, I've been replaying the Mass Effect series)

Like any real dork, I'm pretty pumped about the fact that, just yesterday, SpaceX launched and landed their Dragon capsule after a couple orbits of the Earth, making them the first private company to ever accomplish such a feat. I'm pretty sure privatization is the way to go in the field of space exploration, and it's only a matter of time before we're beyond the Termination Shock (honestly, this is probably one of the few times in my life I'll get to type Termination Shock with any sort of relevance to anything, extra pleased about that), fighting demons materializing out of unearthed (unmarsed?) teleporters, and fighting queen aliens in sweet power loaders.

Hopefully next Wednesday

In celebration, I'm reenacting what I can only imagine as being some sort of last minute briefing with the pilot of the SpaceX Dragon, a pilot I will for confidentiality purposes call Commander Shepard (neverminding that the flight was in fact unmanned).

Accuracy, post-jump.